The saying goes, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." I'm going to take it a step further (pun intended), and say, "The journey of eternity begins with one cry of longing for Father God."
It's been about seven years since I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, and ironically, it's been about seven months since I first stepped onto African soil. Everyday since my return from Uganda on May 2nd, my thoughts somehow dwindle back to my home in that far away place. The more the days go on, the more I want to talk about my experiences, the more I want to hold onto the memories. It seems to me, though, that the honeymoon stage of being home is fairly over. I feel as though my stories don't want to be heard as much, and most of the stories I have left to share are the ones most special to me. I find it hard to share those stories because I think I fear that no one would understand or receive them or fully grasp the emotions behind the story. Rightly so, though. Uganda is special to me and to those who shared in that time with me. Uganda isn't as near and dear to my family and friends, and it would be plain selfish of me to expect everyone to sit at my feet while I tell stories of a place so foreign and strange to them.
From my first step in Uganda on January 3rd, the journey of a thousand miles began. In my heart, I know that this thousand mile journey is going to be the longest thousand miles of my life. My Uganda journey isn't over. Being back at home, living with my family longer than two weeks in the last two years, isn't easy. So often I wish I could quit and hop on the next plane to Africa. Then I remember the multiple times I wanted to quit in Uganda, too. I remember how it was those moments that made me stronger. It was those moments that refocused my vision. It was those moments that made my experience completely worth it. I have learned the moments that look most difficult, the moments that seem the driest, the moments that have you hanging onto the last thread, are the moments when Daddy God whispers, "Let go, my beloved. I will always catch you."
From one step and a thousand miles to one cry of longing and eternity...
The magnificent thing is that these two concepts or ideas are entangled. When the love of God invades your soul, you begin to live thousand mile journeys from the perspective of life eternal. This brings me to today. I thought my blogging days would end when I returned home, but I'm realizing that I still have much to share and I still feel the Holy Spirit leading me to do so. While I am no longer in Uganda, I still believe I am on that journey. I know I am. For God has given me a job this summer I know I would could not handle had He not sent me abroad.
This summer I am working at a camp with individuals with disabilities. It is a pilot year for the program I am working for so everything and everyone is new, and I have never worked for a program as such. I was a bit nervous going into it, but I knew in my heart God had prepared such a place for me. I work with three co-workers and four children with severe mental disabilities. I would be a complete liar if I said my summer was fantastic because it is far from it. Not only am I still dealing with re-adjustment issues from returning to the states, but I'm working in such a foreign environment with teenagers who have disabilities that I've never experienced one on one before. This summer is very difficult and extremely challenging. At the same time, I would be a complete liar if I told you I went to bed stressed out and exhausted every night. The truth is that I go to bed feeling extremely blessed and excited for the day to come.
Being home is a strange feeling. Work is hard. But every morning, I wake up early enough to spend quality time with my Lord and Savior. Every morning He reminds me that I am His cherished daughter, seated in the heavens with Him (Ephesians 2:6). He reminds me that my circumstances have no affect on His love for me, nor do my circumstances have to have any affect on how His love shines through me. He reminds me that my life is not my own and that I belong to Him. He reminds me that I have a choice on how I want to perceive me day. I have the option of living from the Kingdom. I have the ability to call forth His presence in any and all situations, and He will come in all His love, joy, tranquility and grace. It's a beautiful, beautiful reminder.
When I lived in Uganda God showed me how much He adores ALL His children, no matter the culture, no matter their abilities. He ignited that love in my heart, and this summer I get to allow that love to pour through me. When I find myself doubtful or on edge at work, Holy Spirit tells me to look into the eyes of my students and I don't ever look away without getting a glance of Christ's Spirit deep within them. My students are non-verbal and two of them can't walk, but I know Father God is in awe of them. I look at them and can't help but smile and pray the Lord's love over them with the hope and faith that they feel the Spirit in ways they can feel no other thing.
Father God is so incredibly good. He is so incredibly faithful. I still have to remind myself that my time in Uganda wasn't a dream. It was SO real. Ya know, this journey we call life is quite a trip. Seven years ago, I made the choice to continue my trip with God in my heart. Now I not only receive journeys of a thousand miles, but I receive the journey through eternity. With God, not one step goes to waste. All steps are uniquely and intricately woven together to create a divine path called destiny. I believe we all have one and we all have a faithful loving God waiting for us to reach out to Him. This is but a small yet large, very simple yet complex testimony of God's faithfulness.
Here's an honest statement: For the first time in my life, I don't know the next step for my destiny. It's a scary thing for me. I've ALWAYS known the next step..or had a pretty good idea what it was going to be. But what I do know is that my times are in the hands of a God who will never let me fall. I do know that more than anything I want to see God's kingdom invade every heart beating on this earth and raise every dead spirit. I know that the earth is covered in God's fabric of love and more than anything I want to minister and share that love with all people. I may see my life dimly at the moment but I know darn well God's will and God's way for my life has got to be brilliant. Everyday He blows me away. I have an eternal journey ahead of me, and that's an incredible promise to hold onto.
My prayer for all of you is that you take each step of a thousands miles and ask God to show you how it looks from the eternal perspective. It's a beautiful thing, I'll tell ya that much :) If you haven't cried out for God, invite Him in. If you're feeling dry, ask for a drink from the living waters. Allow Daddy God to awaken a love in you more ravishing and extravagant than any love you have ever felt. Pour out your desires on Him and then go read Ephesians 3:20.
From eternity, God dreamed of you. From eternity, He loves you completely.
SEVEN SECOND VERSION!
God is faithful. God is kind. Ask Him for a perspective shift and see your life anew!
